Game Misconduct Volume 1 Edition 7

ACC Trying To Recruit Appalachian St. After 'Impressive' Blowout Loss To LSU

BOONE, NC--- After losing to Louisiana State by a "impressive" 28 points, Appalachian State Head Coach Jerry Moore said his team had been recruited to the Atlantic Coastal Conference.
"Obviously we felt that Appalachian State lost by an impressive enough margin to a BCS school, that they should be considered for membership into our terrible football conference," said ACC commissioner John Swofford.
Star-quarterback Armanti Edwards was hopeful the deal would not be struck before the end of this season.
"I don't want people associating me with the ACC," Edwards said, "They suck."


All 13 SEC Teams Ranked After Week 1

BIRMINGHAM, AL.--- After one of the most dominating performances in College Football Conference Football history, ALL 13 SEC teams are ranked after their Week 1 performance in the AP Poll.
SEC Commissioner, Michael F. Adams, was thrilled with the news.
"Obviously we are excited," he said at a local press conference, "it brings me great joy to know that these players are earning their $100 handshakes."
Despite losses by Mississippi State and Tennessee, their "team speed" and "overall talent" were cited for their rankings in the Top 25.
AP Voter Jerome Dickson based in Tennessee said he even saw some plays Monday night versus UCLA to merit the Volunteers as the number 1 team in the nation.
"Jonathan Cromption showed me that he has potential to be the next Peyton Manning, Arian Foster looked just like Travis Henry and I see no reason to think that any of our wide receivers cannot be as good as Peerless Price."
With conference play beginning this week look for some teams to struggle maintaining their ranked status week in and week out.

Terrell Owens To Legally Change His Name To Terrell Bago De Doucho

DALLAS,--- Terrell Owens, disappointed with the lack of attention this offseason, has decided to change his name as well.
"As of Tuesday I will legally be known as 'Terrell Bago De Doucho," Bago de Doucho said yesterday.
Teammates were confused but supportive of Bago De Doucho's decision.
Marion Barber III said he was almost inspired to change his name to Marion TerrellDon'tBeADumbassChadIsWayMorePopularThanYouWillEverBe, but was worried that it would not fit on the back of his jersey.


Chris Bosh Signs Four Year $20 Million Dollar Deal To Serve As Raptor's Mascot

TORONTO, CANADA---, Chris Bosh signed a historic record $20 million dollar deal this week to remain in Toronto for at least four more years, but that is not the noteworthy part of this deal.
Bosh will serve as both the team's star player and the team's mascot.
"It will be tough for Chris," said coach of Toronto Raptors, "but I believe he will manage the duties of Center and Mascot effectively. Last year was a travesty as he had started to scare away many children from coming to our games, this year we hope the mascot job title makes him look a little more child-friendly."